Choosing And
… a high-five and fist-bump to multifaceted women everywhere. Here’s to us! 👊
Almost every week when I read the news or scroll through social media I think to myself, “This isn’t right.” Someone is outraged, while another is deeply suffering. What complicates it is … many things are both/and … and we humans tend to like things binary. Years ago, I read about #choosingand from designer and speaker Jessica Honegger, and I thought she hit the nail on the head. I’ve shared this before, but it’s been on my mind again lately.
You can experience joy while grieving. Not everything is either or. For or against. Right or left. Not everything is black and white. There’s lots of shades of gray (50 for some of you – sorry, I couldn’t resist). Our realities are determined by our perceptions in life.
Our beliefs are based on our own histories. But friends, not everything is us versus them. Not every day. It doesn’t have to be so extreme. It’s not perfect or terrible. We can be angry and hopeful.
I can disagree and still see your point of view. I can support other women who have different interests than me. I can be kind and confident. I can be a critical thinker while supporting others on their mindset journey. Ladies - we can be feminine without wearing pink. We can wear eyelash extensions and STILL BE SMART! We can be Southern and not drink sweet tea. We can be leaders and still be scared. We can grow babies and businesses. I know the universe has my back and still cry while singing hymns in church. I can speak my truth and listen to yours.
You can be a Christian and feminist. You can support women and not hate men. I wear Old Navy dresses and carry Gucci handbags. I work and attend my kids’ activities. You can choose a private school and support public education. You can have siblings in different educational settings. You can be self-employed and manage self-care (Although, there is no break from work unless you create one … especially for those who work from home.)
I wear heels and work hard at my job. I color my hair and can run a business meeting. I’ve had a natural birth and c-section. I wear red lipstick one day and no makeup the next. I live in a small house and am more content than many people I meet. I pray and meditate. I go to yoga and vote. I paint my nails and pay attention to the polls. I cook and carry out. Dinner is what’s on the plate, no matter the effort (or not) it took to get there. I can read my horoscope and the news. I like free coffee and donate to causes that matter to me. I take communion every week and don’t care if you take it four times a year. Or never. I can do what’s best for myself and want the best for you too.
Our big life goal is the same, isn’t it? Our desire to do better is the same. Because at the end of the day isn’t that what we’re all striving for? To do better. Be better. To learn and move forward. No matter if it’s with our health, within our home or overall happiness in life. You can choose and. Two things can be true at once. Here’s your last reminder: You matter and so do I.