10 ways I’ve changed since becoming a mom
Did you know science confirms you’re a different person after giving birth? Your kids’ cells can stick around in your body. I thought maybe scientists were talking about how we can multi-task like a mother. (I hope you laughed out loud.) No? Well, there’s no denying we women are different after becoming a mom regardless of how we get the title. Here’s a few ways I’ve changed for the better.
1. I honor authenticity. My daughter has vastly different interests and talents than me when I was her age. She’s an avid reader and very athletic. At 11 years old, she’s rarely nervous to try new things like snorkeling, skiing or even sushi. She’s great at math and can design impressive art on Procreate. Both my kids are also learning French, thanks to Duolingo. We have to allow our children to create their own paths and honor their individual interests. It takes work to stand in your kid’s individuality and honor your own too. But I think it’s important to honor who your kid is, not who you want them to be.
2. If kids aren’t the best spiritual teachers, then I don’t know who is. I am more easily triggered, but I can now recognize why. I see my “flaws” reflected back at me every day. Kids are good at showing you what you need to work on within yourself. I see some of my least favorite personality traits staring me in the face. It’s eye-opening to recognize why certain behaviors bother me - because they’re things that I do.
3. It’s easier to make new friends. Kids can be instant friend-makers for us parents. I’ve met so many great mom friends through my kids’ school and club teams. It gives a sense of shared purpose and re-iterates the importance of community. There’s a positive feeling when you’re part of a group.
4. I ask for help. We have been sold the lie that we can (and should) do it all ourselves. Nothing is farther from the truth. We all need help sometimes and it’s important to ask for it.
5. My intuition is heightened. I often get gut feelings (especially about their health) and I’m almost always right. My husband laughs about the number of times I’ve taken kids to the doctor only to return two days later because I knew it was more than “just a virus.” Moms usually know when something’s off.
6. I’m more compassionate. We’re all dealing with something and obviously our priorities change when we become parents. I definitely believe in second chances, perhaps more than ever.
7. I’m more determined to reach my goals. I want my kids to know they should “go for it” too – whatever their dreams may be. It’s never too late to try. If we don’t instill this in them now, why would they think it’s okay later in life?
8. My gratitude has increased. I look at my kids and feel so thankful for their good health and joy they bring my husband and me.
9. It’s re-inforced my thoughts about the value of a good education. There’s more than one way to solve a problem. We need critical thinkers now more than ever. I think so many issues in our country could be solved if all our kids receive a great education. Having important life discussions, not avoiding hard conversations and educating all kids is one of the best ways to create change for our next generation.
10. I require more sleep to be my best self. My health is more important. I read something once that asked, “You’d be willing to die for your kids, but would you live for them?” Yikes, that’s something to think about for sure. Taking care of ourselves is so important.
I was inspired by @finleyrobinson’s newsletter on how parenting changes us. If you want sound parenting advice, you should sign up for his Family Friday Newsletter. How has being a parent changed you? Would love to hear from you.